This blog was really created to give me an outlet to say the things that are really on my mind - the things that would probably get me in trouble if I voiced them in my day-to-day life. A place where I can speak uncensored, be completely myself, and not worry about social eggshells. I've told very few people about my blog. And I'm always amazed when someone comes across it randomly. SiteMeter, the counter service that I use, has a handy little feature that tells me what search terms people have used to arrive at my blog. I find it fascinating (and usually amusing) to see what search strings have lead people who do not know me to my little slice of the internet.
But…I’m a little disturbed by some of what I see, people. Morbid, fascination, y’know. I’m not sure if I’m more disturbed that this is what led you to my site, or that my site delivered. So...of course I had to share.
- Jane’s response: Why the hell did you put her in there?! And holy shit!! Let her out! Sounds like a Law & Order: SVU episode waiting to happen! Creeeeeeepy!!
Search term: Alien artificial insemination
- Jane's response: You have problems larger than my humble little blog can help you with, buddy. But...can I see that baby when it comes out?! Freaky!
Search term:Screw a chicken
- Jane’s response: This one came from
Search term: Inseminator girl
- Jane's response: Sounds like bad '80's porn with an Arnold Schwarzenegger-esque main character. Bow chicka wow wow...
Search term: The “douchebag patrol”
- Jane’s response: Awww crap! They’re organizing! But let me help you out, dude. www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com for all your social networking needs - where the popped-collar-snuggy-shirt, faux-hawk hairdo, sideways peace sign and vacant-stared-poochy-lipped facial expressions are all the rage.
Search term: Artificial insemination for dummies
- Jane's response: Let me save you $20 at Barnes & Noble, friend - here's what you need: girly mags, lotion, and a turkey baster. Everything else is a waste of money. Not that I know anything about that... Really...I don't!
Search term: Militant pansy fairy blowjob
- Jane's reponse: Sweetpea... Didn't anyone tell you that we've inducted a "Don't Ask Don't Tell" Policy here in the US? Not that there's anything wrong with that...
That's all I've got for now.
<3,
~Jane
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